Everything we're trying to transcend/surpass is actually what our minds have created and what we have all created together as the cloud of illusions.
A terminally ill lady was interviewed.
"So," I tried to delicately ask, "What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?"
"Well," she responded, "What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?"
We've created a story. A grand lie of a story and we've all bought into it. It's a great story, full of roller-coaster emotions. We can earn lots of money and buy the grandest of things. We can surround ourselves with all wonderful physical things to show the world what we've accomplished and how amazing we are. Our consciousness follows this illusory story because over many years we've made ourselves believe it is real and the only way. Humankind has been made to believe this story. We want what others have. Greed is good. If I can't have what you've got then I/we will take it. We are separate. I am separate.
Experiences. Events. That's what every moment of this story is. Moments of physical bliss. Moments of emotional hurt.
Looking at these experiences there is no underlying solidity to them, they feel false in their core. Can you forever keep or hold onto one of those experiences? That's why we constantly look to find something else to give us that experience again. And so the story continues...
Look where this grand lie of a story has got us so far.
We've all had this fear in one shape or form. Fear that whilst we're doing nothing we're missing out on all the fantastic things our friends, colleagues and generally people around the world are doing. (again social media moves this feeling up a few notches).
Where is the truth in all this?
We have to go and do certain things else we'll miss out on all the important and fun times. We have to go and buy that new mobile (cell-phone) or new TV because we're missing out on how fulfilling it'll be. I'll be happy and content once that person is with me.
This is fantasy. Make-believe. It's not true is it? If you think it is then take a look at all the times you've bought something and felt great for all of one minute or maybe a day, even a month. What happened after that? You moved onto the next search to fulfill and accentuate the fear again and so on and so on. No one else can give you happiness and contentment and peace. Only you can.
Buying things is great, but do you really truly need it? The pursuit of happiness in material things is ultimately empty and will cause suffering.
Take a look around at what you have. Relationships, friendships work when they are not based on a need to bring fulfillment.
This doesn't mean shying away from all interactions and purchasing things. On the contrary, once you begin to see and accept you already have everything you need, you'll start to become more present and at peace with who you are, who you are with and what you're doing.
Keep reminding yourself on a daily basis.
"Do I really need this?".
"Will it help me grow as a person?".
"Do I/we already have something that works perfectly well?"
The ego doesn't like it when you stop wanting anything and are present. As far as the ego is concerned happiness has only come from wanting something and then getting it.
The current culture in most countries is based on comparison and jealousy. What you have, look like, talk like, how much money you have. How people you know or read about do amazing things and you feel like your less than them because of this. You're in a group and you feel inadequate because you're too short or fat or not as funny and so on.
Unfortunately social media can exacerbate the feeling of incompleteness and inferiority as you always read about what wonderful things are other people are doing and social media platforms can have a bragging nature to it.
People have started to live in their heads more and have created mental chains they aren't aware they've created over time.
You think like this because your thoughts have been conditioned and feelings have been attached to those thoughts. These thoughts are false and warped. They are not the truth. The truth is you are an amazing and whole human being. You don't need another persons approval on how you look or talk. You don't need to have 100 friends and swim with a dolphin to give you a sense of self-worth. Your sense of worth comes from within, not from without - not from anything external.
You are who you are and contentment will begin to reverse the negative and destructive thought patterns your mind creates. Be thankful you are in a place where you can question things and change. Not many people are in a mental position of doing so.
Become aware. Accept who you are. Take a few deep breaths from your belly and let it go. When you are in a situation when these thoughts arise take a mental step back and take a deep breath and observe your thoughts, see how incorrect they are. Separate negative emotions as processes and not who you really are. Just like positive emotions have been created over time so have negative ones. No need to judge yourself because of the thoughts you are having. Instead of concentrating on them and what others around you are doing, concentrate on what you are doing. Are you fully giving 100% or are you 50% there physically and 50% making stuff up in your mind that doesn't even exist! You can't exist where you are and somewhere else.
Don't believe everything you think.
Don't believe everything you think. Question every - thing.