Fear of missing out

We've all had this fear in one shape or form. Fear that whilst we're doing nothing we're missing out on all the fantastic things our friends, colleagues and generally people around the world are doing. (again social media moves this feeling up a few notches).

Where is the truth in all this? 

We have to go and do certain things else we'll miss out on all the important and fun times. We have to go and buy that new mobile (cell-phone) or new TV because we're missing out on how fulfilling it'll be. I'll be happy and content once that person is with me.

This is fantasy. Make-believe. It's not true is it? If you think it is then take a look at all the times you've bought something and felt great for all of one minute or maybe a day, even a month. What happened after that? You moved onto the next search to fulfill and accentuate the fear again and so on and so on. No one else can give you happiness and contentment and peace. Only you can. 

Buying things is great, but do you really truly need it? The pursuit of happiness in material things is ultimately empty and will cause suffering. 

Take a look around at what you have. Relationships, friendships work when they are not based on a need to bring fulfillment. 

This doesn't mean shying away from all interactions and purchasing things. On the contrary, once you begin to see and accept you already have everything you need, you'll start to become more present and at peace with who you are, who you are with and what you're doing. 

Be thankful. 

Keep reminding yourself on a daily basis.

Ask yourself: 

"Do I really need this?".

"Will it help me grow as a person?".

"Do I/we already have something that works perfectly well?"

 

Jealousy and comparison

The current culture in most countries is based on comparison and jealousy. What you have, look like, talk like, how much money you have. How people you know or read about do amazing things and you feel like your less than them because of this. You're in a group and you feel inadequate because you're too short or fat or not as funny and so on. 

Unfortunately social media can exacerbate the feeling of incompleteness and inferiority as you always read about what wonderful things are other people are doing and social media platforms can have a bragging nature to it.  

People have started to live in their heads more and have created mental chains they aren't aware they've created over time.

You think like this because your thoughts have been conditioned and feelings have been attached to those thoughts. These thoughts are false and warped. They are not the truth. The truth is you are an amazing and whole human being. You don't need another persons approval on how you look or talk. You don't need to have 100 friends and swim with a dolphin to give you a sense of self-worth. Your sense of worth comes from within, not from without - not from anything external. 

You are who you are and contentment will begin to reverse the negative and destructive thought patterns your mind creates. Be thankful you are in a place where you can question things and change. Not many people are in a mental position of doing so. 

Become aware. Accept who you are. Take a few deep breaths from your belly and let it go. When you are in a situation when these thoughts arise take a mental step back and take a deep breath and observe your thoughts, see how incorrect they are. Separate negative emotions as processes and not who you really are. Just like positive emotions have been created over time so have negative ones. No need to judge yourself because of the thoughts you are having. Instead of concentrating on them and what others around you are doing, concentrate on what you are doing. Are you fully giving 100% or are you 50% there physically and 50% making stuff up in your mind that doesn't even exist! You can't exist where you are and somewhere else. 

Don't believe everything you think.

Don't believe everything you think. Question every - thing.

There is peace in silence

There is a peace in silence. A peace which is wonderful. A peace which brings knowingness and envelops everything. 

When you meditate and silence the mind and become present, still and one with all you will move to a different level of consciousness.

Try and meditate if you don't already. There are free guided meditations from meditationoasis or tarabrach. There is also headspace which gives a gentle and structured approach. 

Let us know how you do

The businessman and a fisherman

A businessman went on holiday to get away from it all and recharge his batteries.  He flew to a faraway location and came across a fishing village. In this village he came across one fisherman who seemed more happier and content than everyone. Being curious the businessman approached the fisherman and asked him what he did every day. 

The man replied "I wake up every morning and have breakfast with my wife and children. Then the kids go off to school and I go fishing for a few hours and my wife paints. I'd normally return with enough fish for family meals and then take a nap. After dinner, my wife and I would take a walk along the beach and watch the sunset whilst the kids swam in the ocean"

The businessman was stunned and asked "You do this every day?"

"Most days" replied the fisherman. "Sometimes we do other things but for the most part, this is our day".

"And everyday you can catch fish?" the businessman asked.

"Yes, there are plenty of fish" replied the fisherman.

"Can you catch more fish than you bring home" inquired the businessman.

The fisherman looked at him and smiled "Oh yes, I often catch more and let them go. You see, I enjoy fishing".

"Why don't you catch as many fish as you can and then you can sell them and make lots of money and be able to buy two, three and more boats and other fisherman can help. In a few years you can have a big building in a major city and within ten years you can have an international fish distribution company" said the businessman.

Smiling, the fisherman said "Why would I do that?"

"Well for the money, you could have lots of money and retire" replied the businessman.

"And what can I do when I retire? said the fisherman. "Perhaps eat breakfast with my family? And as I like fishing so much, I can fish a little each day?"

The businessman, feeling a little annoyed the fisherman didn't jump at the idea, "Yes, if you like, although there may not be many fish left"

"Maybe I can spend my evening with my wife, walking along the beach and my kids can go for a swim?" the fisherman continued.

"You could although your kids would probably have grown by then" replied the businessman.

The fisherman smiled and wished the businessman the best and wished him well with efforts to recharge.

Eliminate the ...

Like the book says "ENUFF". Eliminate the Needless, Useless, Frivolous and Foolish.

How much of your day is misspent on things? Sit back and think of what you normally achieve in a day and how much energy goes into wasted acts? 

What progress and benefit do you get from spending hours on social media? Does it help you grow through life?

 

Understanding yourself

The mind uses itself to understand itself. 

Let that resonate for a minute. 

The mind tries to understand who you really are based on what conclusions it has drawn over time. Therefore, it's understanding is limited to form and the physical world to a degree. It cannot comprehend your true nature and who you are when not thinking because it doesn't exist at that point. When thought is absent, an awareness arises which is beyond mind. It is silence, stillness, it is everything and nothing. 

Everything and nothing. That's amazing. You are every - thing and no- thing.